Cyber Bullying
A MOTHER'S STORY
It is such a delight as a parent to come home from a hard day’s work and be greeted by your own child/ children with such love and joy.
This did not happen on February, 2009. As I opened the door, I sensed an air of gloominess hanging over my house.
“Megan,” I called but got no response. It was very quiet and still. I kept on calling three more times, still no answer.
Worried and concerned, I walked to her room with my heart beating like an express train. I opened the door and found my energetic, lively, and friendly daughter trembling with fear and weeping uncontrollably.
“What’s wrong Meg?” I asked. No words were spoken. A few seconds later she reluctantly pointed to her computer. I walked over to her desk and clicked on the mouse. It was nerve rocking, horrible and very disgusting to see what was written on my daughter’s My Space page. It damaged my daughter’s self-esteem, character, and most of all her future. She is no longer around to enjoy life to the fullest. (Based on a true story). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7WllPVA-A4
Cyber Bullying
One might asked, what could have caused a teen aged girl so much pain and hurt? My answer is CYBER BULLYING.
I randomly picked five (5) students and asked them what they know about cyber bullying. Two (2) out of the five said I don’t know, one (1) said, “When you bullying someone,” and the other two (2) were much more aware and said, “When someone use the internet and say bad things about others.”
Cyber bullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. By definition, it occurs among young people. When an adult is involved, it may meet the definition of cyber-harassment or cyber-stalking, a crime that can have legal consequences and involve jail time.
Sometimes cyber bullying can be clear-cut. For example, leaving overly cruel cell phone text messages or mean notes posted to Web sites. Other acts are less obvious, such as impersonating a victim online or posting personal information or videos designed to hurt or embarrass another child.
Cyber bullying also can happen accidentally. The impersonal nature of text messages, IMs, and emails make it very hard to detect the sender's tone — one teen's joke or sense of humor could be another's devastating insult. Nevertheless, a repeated pattern of emails, text messages, and online posts is rarely accidental. http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-cyber-bullying
Digging Deeper
I was very amazed after reading the statistics on the Eleven Facts about Cyber Bullying. http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-cyber-bullying. As an educator, it is so touching to see how many of our students are affected emotionally, physically mentally and if I may say spiritually by cyber bullying. Many kids and teens who are cyber bullied are reluctant to tell a teacher or parent, often because they feel ashamed of the social stigma, or because they fear their computer privileges will be taken away at home. The signs that a child is being cyber bullied vary, but a few things to look for are:
1. Signs of emotional distress during or after using the Internet.
2. Withdrawal from friends and activities.
3. Avoidance of school or group gatherings.
4. Slipping grades and "acting out" in anger at home.
5. Changes in mood, behavior, sleep, or appetite.
We need to be cognizant of the fact that cyber bullying may be affecting either to the students that we teach a relative of ours or even our own colleagues. No longer limited to schoolyards or street corners, modern-day bullying can happen at home as well as at school — essentially 24 hours a day. And, for students who are being cyber bullied, it can feel like there's no escape.
Severe cyber bullying can leave victims at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and other stress-related disorders. In very rare cases, some students have turned to suicide.
Teachers too are sometimes victims of cyber bullying. Disruptive students often think that it is acceptable to be disrespectful to teachers through the use of the internet. Their excuse is I did not use the school’s computer I used mine. As teachers should we become complacent and encourage such abuse and continue to teach these students? (Food for thought).
This is such a very crucial topic to discuss. The 1st Amendment
clearly speaks about the right for “freedom of speech”. Does the freedom of speech gives the right to be disrespectful, harmful, and unfriendly? Does the “freedom of speech gives the right to be hateful, mean and unscrupulous?
Some states have seen the dangers that cyber bullying has caused, therefore they have tried to implement rules to prevent this gruesome act. http://www.unc.edu/courses/2010spring/law/357c/001/Cyberbully/state.html
It's essential that the whole school community understands what cyber bullying is and what measures are in place to prevent it and, if it does take place, what action should be taken.
The School’s Policy and Protection of Teachers and Students
The school district and my school work very closely in protecting our students as it relates to the use of the internet at school. Parents are asked to sign an internet permission slip, giving students the right to have internet access at school. Also teachers and students are only allowed to visit educational websites aligned with the Standard Course of Study. Because of this, cyber bullying is very minimal on the school grounds. Most of the social networking sites such as Facebook, YouTube, and My Space are blocked. Students and teachers do not have access.
What can we do to help?
Let’s face it the schools/ school districts may not be able to control cyber bullying. However students should feel comfortable to report any incident to their teachers, administrators or parents if they believe they are victims. If a student reports to a teacher or administrator about being cyber bullied, the matter should not be taken lightly. I do believe that a thorough investigation MUST be done, contact the relevant authorities and endeavor to seek protection for the student. By getting involved, you may be saving a life.
This You Tube video gives an insight on how schools and school districts in New Jersey are working together to prevent cyber bulling.
The mantle however falls directly on parents. Parents should be aware of what is happening in the social networking era. If a parent should discover that his/her child is being cyber bullied, be sure to discuss how it feels. Offer assurance that it's not your child's fault. Talking to teachers or school administrators also may help.
Many schools, school districts, and after-school clubs have established protocols for responding to cyber bullying; these vary by district and state. But before reporting the problem, let your child know that you plan to do so, as he or she could have concerns about "tattling" and might prefer that the problem be handled at home.
Other measures to try:
1. Block the bully. Most devices have settings that allow you to electronically block emails, IMs, or text messages from specific people.
2. Limit access to technology. Although it's hurtful, many children who are bullied can't resist the temptation to check Web sites or phones to see if there are new messages. Keep the computer in a public place in the house (no laptops in children's bedrooms, for example) and limit the use of cell phones and games. Some companies allow you to turn off text messaging services during certain hours, which can give bullied kids a break.
3. A parent must know your child's/ children’s online world. They should as frequently as possible check the postings and the sites children visit, and be aware of how the children spend their time online.
4. Talk to your child or children about the importance of privacy and why it's a bad idea to share personal information online, even with friends.
5. Encourage children to have to safeguard passwords.
Conclusion
As educators, we should constantly remind our students to be cyber safe. These are some important tips you can share with your students as they continue to practice cyber safety.
1. Never post or share your personal information online (this includes your full name, address, telephone number, school name, parents’ names, credit card number, or social security number) or your friends’ personal information.
2. Never share your internet passwords with anyone, except your parents.
3. Never meet anyone face-to-face whom you only know online.
4. Talk to your parents about what you do online.
REMEMBER THE INTERNET CAN BE YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND ALSO YOUR WORSE ENEMY.
Very indepth report. I looove your introduction - so very different from the usual. Cyber-bullying is indeed horrible and I too was appalled at the many instances of suicide or near suicide that was related to this form of harrassment. Your graphics were awesome and were so linked to the text. I really enjoyed reading this. Excellent closing - The internet can indeed be our BEST friend or WORST enemy. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am very passionate about topics like these maybe because I am a mother of two and I would not want my child to be going through something like this.It is really necessary for us as parents to be very vigilant and be able to see or sense when something is wrong. Technology has a lot of positives but we have to look at the negatives as well. I do agree with you when you said that it can happen accidentally and what is joke to you can be death to another person.
ReplyDeleteWe have to be frank about it. If your child is being bullied online, the first thing you would do is to tell her or him not to go back on that website, and that is why they will not want to say anything because they dont want to leave the pleasure of the computer. Parents, just try to be observant and I know my eyes are wide open after doing this research. Great post.
I too am always very cautious about written messages because of a very important point you made; that one can never truly determine the tone of the message. This maybe the reason why children get caught up and are easily tricked.I am glad that you brought this out.Great post.
ReplyDeleteYou made some excellent points. Often the victims of cyber bullying suffer in silence, there may be evidence of the depression but we don’t know the reason sometimes not until it’s too late.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post (and visuals). As I was reading this, I was thinking that one of the most important things we can do is building a trusting relationship with each of our students...so that they have someone they feel comfortable coming to.
ReplyDeleteYou raised some great points to ponder!
Very detailed, and I do share the same sentiments that " the mantle falls on the parents". Have a trusting relationship with kids
ReplyDeleteOften times the incidents are not done from school computers or on school campus.
i really enjoyed reading your post. i was even wondering deeply about your food for though, "As teachers should we become complacent and encourage such abuse and continue to teach these students?" i think it would be very hard for me to know a child published horrible things about me and teach him just the same. afterall, we are only human.
ReplyDeleteI also agreewith you, whenever there is a reported incident of cyber bullying, the relevant authorities must investigate to atleast prevent the victim from doing the unthinkable.
Great post, keep up the good work!
Though I agree with the idea of filtering technologies to block undesired websites and social networks, I think treating teachers like students all the same is hands-binding when it comes to instruction.Some websites like youtube has treasures teachers can use in class but as it is blocked, all that pedagogical potential is lost! Teachers should have different access capabilities. Thanks for your great blogging!
ReplyDeletethe picture you include of the parent just assuming is so illuminating. Assuming is something parents do all the time!!!!!! :P very often assuming wrongly.
ReplyDelete